After many years of therapies, I still felt unheard and unacknowledged. One of my friends suggested I try another type of therapy.
It is called Narrative Therapy.
So being who I am I started seeing someone who does this. I also joined the group to learn the ins and outs of how it works. For the first time in many years I felt better about myself and my situation. I built up my confidence to drive again and to start working outside the home.
But just like when we take anti-biotic and start feeling better, we start thinking we don’t need it any more. Mr. Sabotage doing his job!!! I stopped going for a few years and things began to get much worse, especially since I had most of the kids out and more free time to feel my feelings. Well thank G-d I was smart enough to recognize this phenomenon.
Then one day I found the strength to make a decision that ABUSE is not allowed in my marriage. We had both suffered enough. Abuse had attached itself to our marriage for too long. It has caused much pain and has destroyed the quality of our life together as a couple and as a family. With the resources of love compassion and empathy, I pray and hope that together my husband and I can finally be rid of this Villain.
Today is my husband’s birthday and my gift to him is my conviction to eradicate Abuse once and for all in our family. He has agreed to see this therapist somewhat reluctantly. Yet with time and this method of externalizing the problem I believe we have hope in finally actualizing our dream and working on the tikun that Hashem gave for us!
For me, my work is to get rid of the sadness and resentments of the past. Hashem commanded us on how we are to mourn, and excess mourning isn’t healthy, and neither is holding on to the resentments. I once heard that hanging on to resentments is like pouring poison down your throat .. It really only hurts oneself. I will continue this time to go to therapy and hold on to the hope of a better future. I will need to be very patient and persevere, which are strengths I have acquired raising a special needs child. With G-d’s help and a good therapist we will get there!.